He loves peace, he wants to hear
This is a theme I noticed in the pairs I counseled to match my own experience with my husband. Married life pairs partners who were originally the same, but other worlds. And one of the most important variances is what they want during the conflict.
He wants peace.
Yes, of course this is a huge generalization, as surely there are exceptions.
There is reason why you want peace. The relationship requires peace, but not at the expense of justice. He knows that he needs to be loved, and the conflict is her, the interruption of the love she wants. If there is only peace, there is room to love – as you like. But what he wants is not always the right way. Truth has also been said that peaceful life is made as ridiculous as possible by family frustrations. The desire to get everyone involved is good, but the way in which peace is provided is not always the right way. (I admit that you want peace too.)
There's some reason you want to hear. You just have to hear it. And the truth is that the relationship needs it. If you only hear this crisis point, you will show her that she is so serious about the matter and her marriage as she is. Love at root is like respect. If you listen to true intent – it is not only respectful but reliable. The greater truth is both he and he must hear. Every marriage goes on when James says partners are "listening fast, talking slowly, and slow to anger".
Good relationships find peace through effective conflict resolution. So both and he wants what the relationship is. Both of them simply have to evaluate what the other wants.