I thought I wanted to get away with my husband, but I'll miss it – Tips and advice that can help

I get many emails from women who have doubts or concerns about divorce. Many people thought they were okay or even wanted to divorce earlier, but now that her husband is not so close and reality has started to quit, there are doubts as well. Often there are people who say things like, "Do I have to tell her that she misses her or just admit it's too late?" or "Are these feelings normal, just because divorce is so definitive? Will they finally go?"

Well, I can not see the future, but I can tell you that whenever you have any doubts and whispering little whispering whispering to your mind, surely not hurting at least is open to the idea of ​​silence. Because the restlessness and the unpleasant feeling will only happen if you are completely satisfied and are in a peaceful position. Of course, divorce has huge, final, enormous consequences. You would not be normal if you did not feel uneasy. But her husband misses (and suspects you might want to go back) something else. I will discuss in more detail the following article.

The distance will actually be able to increase the vacuum: People often do not believe me when I tell them that time and distance actually make the connection better. Therefore, when people write and say that their spouse wants "a place," I usually tell them to give it. Because it allows your spouse to miss it. Quiet and calm thinking allows a more rational mindset. Anger and tension will calm down because there is no longer any interference, and loneliness allows both sides to objectively examine the situation (and any part that he has played in). So you know it's actually quite common to see the situation differently when you have had some time and distance. Just because he misses it does not mean that we will have problems: I am a huge supporter of marriage saving. Even more so when one party is beginning to experience the old feelings or begin to acknowledge the emptiness of being left without the other person. So, I fully believe that if you have those feelings you should keep it at least open to think a little bit about where you want to do it, not about closing the door.

But when I say this to women, they often tell me things like, "It's okay, I really miss her, but there are still huge problems in this marriage. Good intentions are one thing, but reality is another. It may be that the time and distance I'm constantly knocking on has helped you see things in a new light And I'll tell you a little secret, many times, people, who are trying to save the marriage before the car in front of the horse. Focusing at the core of emotions as a matter of trying the problem immediately: What I mean by "putting a basket in the horse" is that people often overwhelm their fingers, and commit themselves to working on "marriage." The problem is that by the time most people reach this point, they are disconnected already they are not deeply tied up and are more than a bit annoyed at each other. Solving problems is difficult, but when they do not feel deeply in touch, love and intimacy, they are trying to reach a moving target. It just does not seem fun enough.

Instead, I often tell people first to try to restore some positive feelings between you. Do not worry that you are trying to determine where you are going, whether you are reconciling or reunited. Do not put this pressure on you. Rather let him miss you, tell him if you decide and focus on spending time together to see what's happening. Do not worry what's coming. Just know that this person is a very important factor in your life and you want to see that maybe some time will bring light to the fact that things can change potentially.

You do not have to talk deeply about why it went wrong. In fact, I would avoid this. Just focus on light-hearted interactions that do not allow much pressure, but offer lots of fun. You're trying to see if there's a chance to baby's progress. Have a meeting on the other. This scenario should not take long to make it clear enough where you are. But at least you have the chance to know at the end of the day that you've done everything and you do not ignore the feelings that desperately try to get your attention.



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